Beirut Drinking Game Rules Updated for 2006
by Harun as-Satair
To more accurately reflect the situation in the Middle East, the Washington Area Students and Teachers for Educating Drinkers (WASTED) has released updated rules for the popular drinking game, Beirut.
In the conventional game, two teams take turns tossing single ping pong balls into cups, with the goal of making the other team get "drunk" first, as hip kids say these days. The new game, however, requires the participation of "Team A," "Team B," and a rude houseguest (visiting Team A).
1. The rude houseguest begins gameplay by spilling some beer from Team B's cups.
2. According to the new rules, Team B then "tosses the whole f------ Costco box of ping pong balls at team A's cups."
After that, gameplay is informal, with Team B and the houseguest exchanging attacks. Team A may not attack though team members are allowed to scream at referees, who, according to the rules, must be deaf.
Asked about the ramifications of the new rules, WASTED President Liam O'Curry was upbeat. "You're gonna get bombed!" he shouted between pints of ping-pong ball flavored Guinness.
"I'm more sauced than a Burrito in Bombay."